I generally you should not proclaim my personal sex immediately upon meeting new people, but i understand it will probably show up at some point whenever we become buddies. I only claim that We have a girlfriend and then leave it at that, but leading some people to
believe I’m a lesbian
, which bothers the hell off myself because we never stated I found myself and I’d never ever choose that label for myself personally.

1. 
   I’ve had enchanting emotions for those who aren’t ladies.
   
   While we currently only look for women attractive and simply wish date females, I’ve
   discovered men appealing in the past
   . Was I sexually drawn to all of them? Instead of most days, but intimate and intimate feelings you shouldn’t constantly get hand-in-hand. Throughout my youth, I crushed on different boys and girls, but after dating some dudes and doing a bit of soul searching, I’ve found
   I like females
   . That still does not eliminate my personal last, and sexuality are material. Possibly I’m not keen on guys now, but i may subordinate circumstances or i may maybe not. I simply don’t want to get tied up down from the specifics of a « lesbian » mark.
2. 
   Not all the women that have actually relationships/sex along with other women are lesbians.
   
   While I do not like being known as a lesbian, I
   
   am
   
   quite entirely into women. However some women aren’t.
   Some women are bisexual
   —surprise!—or pansexual or just don’t love gender at all. With the phrase « lesbian » to spell it out any woman that is presently with another woman is frequently incorrect. Whenever a term tends to be incorrect in many cases, I don’t desire make use of it.
3. 
   I am not through the isle of Lesbos
   
   . For many who do not know, discover a proper set in Greece called the isle of Lesbos and individuals in fact stay here. « Lesbian » relates to individuals or circumstances from that area. The definition of « lesbian » in an effort to consider homosexual women merely came into being because of Sappho, just who famously wrote love poetry about women. (Side note: she additionally blogged poetry about enjoying males as well, and yet she’s the best signal of being a « lesbian. » Bisexual erasure a lot?) In any event, folks from the isle of Lesbos don’t like men and women
   calling homosexual women « lesbians
   . » There is a touch of homophobia to their campaigning contrary to the term, however you still need to admit it is very stupid to refer to any or all homosexual females as « from this 1 Greek Island. » You will also discover far more homosexual ladies than those who are now living in Lesbos, making this specifically vexing for me.
4. 
   Gay and queer are fun words.
   
   I do love stating the term « queer » as well as explaining myself personally as « gay AF. » Queer can an example of reclaiming a term from homophobes, that’s constantly amazing. It literally means somethingis just somewhat strange, basically ideal for me, and homosexual merely implies pleased. Why wouldn’t i wish to be gay? We must all be therefore fortunate. Basically have to select a label, I’m going to say that
   I’m gay
   . Admiration the pleased.
5. 
   I really don’t fit the lesbian label.
   
   We consider my self part of the LGBTQ+ community, as well as the best part in regards to the area is that every person from every walk of existence should always be pleasant so long as they truly are taking. But when In my opinion to be a « lesbian, » i’m like there’s this mythical society of them that I do not rather match. Many this might be rather old school, but even now there are a lot of expected « must haves » for lesbians, like you have to be hostile, use bamboo, and listen to Tegan and Sara. I do not one of those situations. Since « lesbian » as a phrase looks pretty stereotyping in scope, i’m like basically use it, i need to
   conform to stereotypes
   … and I do not.
6. 
   I am not femme agricultrice cherche homme or butch.
   
   With maybe not conforming to lesbian stereotypes, I also you should not feel like I get into a category. Many people exactly who determine as lesbians relate to on their own as « butch » or « femme. » Individually, I believe this beats the reason. I’m not gay thus I can imitate a heterosexual couple but to each and every their own. Nevertheless, I am not truly excessively masculine or very female. I love to wear gowns, but We
   rarely wear makeup products
   or jewelry. My locks are lengthy but often I like to put on men’s room clothes. I defy these groups, which feels as though defying getting a lesbian in general.
7. 
   My personal sex doesn’t establish me personally.
   
   My personal primary meat making use of the phrase « lesbian » is that if you determine as you, you have to state « I’m
   
   a
   
   lesbian. » Should you decide say you are homosexual, you can easily say « i am homosexual. » Linguistics are important to me because vocabulary reflects personal principles. When individuals make use of the phase « gay, » it really is a descriptor. When people use the phase « lesbian, » it’s an identifier. Becoming gay is part of my identification, but it is hardly all Im. It is simply one facet, very you shouldn’t cook me as a result of just « a lesbian. »
8. 
   I do not like to omit non-binary or asexual men and women.
   
   Being a lesbian seemingly have a rigorous definition: a woman that is intimately attracted to other women. Exactly what if you are a woman with someone who’s non-binary? They’re not a female, even in the event they aren’t a person, so the phrase « lesbian » feels incorrect. And
   if you should be asexual, you still have intimate thoughts
   , and maybe you have intimate emotions for the next girl. Can a « lesbian » never be sexually drawn to women? No matter for me when someone’s ace, non-binary, trans, or what they determine as, but by using the phase « lesbian » to explain myself personally feels like when i must exclude people that don’t have a « standard » sex or gender.
9. 
   I’m not porn.
   
   Lesbian is really a common search term in porn.
   You do not hear men and women dealing with « gay pornography » that describes females sex. For the reason that « gay porno » aims at gay males and features men having sex with one another. But « lesbian porn, » featuring women sex with each other, is aimed at direct guys. Because I know this, personally i think fetishized when i am known as a lesbian, even when which is not the purpose. I recently can’t divorce the fetishization of queer women through the phase. In addition reminds me of most kinds of bad things in society as well as how often gay individuals are fetishized, so don’t give me a call a lesbian.